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  • Tristan J. Miller

Journal 03/01/19

I’m doing journal entries now! Hopefully daily. This is mostly for me but, let me know if you like them. If you see them. If you don’t, that’s fine too. But, you won’t know that because you won’t have read this. Perhaps, you’ll have no opinion about this or any other sentences you haven’t yet read. Anyhow, this is the first journal entry.

Yesterday, I had to cancel my therapy appointment. I had gotten the times confused with another appointment I have later this week. The whole ordeal was embarrassing. I got disproportionally upset about it, which is one of the reasons I’m trying to see a therapist. But, through talking to my mother and sister I calmed down and was able to move on with my day. My mother passed on this good advice: “....when you have a bad day don’t just say, “F— it! I’m just going to give up.” Make a plan for one good choice you can make for yourself right away...Instead of saying this is a terrible day, What can you plan next that will help you have a better day?” That really helped it allowed me to focus on the next thing I had planned which was spending a relaxing day with my sibling Molly.

Molly and I met at Union Square, where we ate at Panera. Getting soup and sandwiches. The conversation felt very much like a New York movie to me, as we spoke about our therapists, various medical dealings, and weird things that happened in childhood. What has been nice about me getting my head out of my ass, (or at least beginning to) is that Molly and my relationship has grown closer and more mature. Gone are the days of one of us, (Read: me) getting defensive over some perceived slight and the whole thing blowing up to the point where ever Death Star technicians would be impressed. I very much appreciate the opportunity and space Molly has given me to grow. I hope I do the same for them.

After lunch, we went to Molly’s home, talked awhile, watched some internet video, (their taste in Vines is impeccable,) and then we played a video game we started when we were both still living together back in 2011. We finally got past the point we had been stuck on for eight years, it was both anticlimactic, but still rewarding. I greatly enjoy just hanging out with my family. I hope to do a lot of that this year.

“If this isn’t nice, what is?” -Kurt Vonnegut

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